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wisethem
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Name: Adam
Country: United States
State: New Jersey
Birthday: 6/26/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: I do things. People do things. Sometimes these two intersect.
Expertise: None, but I often act like I know what the hell I'm talking about.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/27/2002
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| Voltaire knew what the fuck he was talking about when he said you should stay busy to avoid suicide.  . Life is about homeostatis. Life is homeostasis. Blah blah blah. Been reading a lot of "Essential Cell Biology" nowadays. Is there a better textbook in the world? Probably not.
A busy errand day. Bailed on going to Tent Rocks again... it's been so many times. I'm not interested in retracing the REU anymore. It's troubling. Hope I didn't hurt those guys' feelings, but I'm trying to be more selfish these days so whatever.
Finished Thomas Cahill's 'Mysteries of the Middle Ages' last night. Reading his work is like hanging with a close friend who's also a jerk; they keep saying inflammatory things and defending them with good logic. It can be stimulating.
Went to Koenig's Metals, bought $4.17 in aluminum sheet for some projects. Priced copper, looked at some stuff. Then got acrylic paint, a few brushes, etc. for my stage furniture.
Then [finally] filed my change of address form, picked up some stuff from F's house, came to the office. I think I'll go home and run in a few. Catching up on errands is so cathartic!
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| At home for thanksgiving break (maybe "break" is too generous - I just took some days off). Flew back on the airplane, visited cousin J in NY. I thought I wouldn't have enough stuff to fill 6 days but I was dead wrong, it's going to be a squeeze to both relax and rage in perfect proportion.
This break couldn't have been better timed - I was starting to feel kinda crazy as I usually do when the summer goes away and enough time elapses for my body to understand it. Maybe part of my brain is legitimately concerned that the earth is dying (this time winter is permament?)? We've left all the traditions to assure the sun's return by the wayside so I don't really have a better way of instilling that... maybe a sacrifice?
I will buy a table and some chairs when I get back to turn C's office into a mead hall. Possibly in the main room? My house looks like crap and I think it's bumming me out.
Get at least one set of nice clothes that will be resistant to motorcycle riding. No more wallet-in-butt-pocket, it's hard on jeans since I gotta vault the bike to get anywhere.
Continue work on my own stuff, I realize how important that is to my own happiness. Showed my dvd of random stuff around and it was well-received. The process is critical to me, not so much the product.
Maybe happiness is just being able to get out depressions as quickly as possible? Maybe everyone's version is different? I think of some goofy knight trapped in a wizards illusion, swing a sword around at an imaginary monster. A sharp shock and the spell is broken, it was just cobwebs!
Trying to get to the bottom of the philosophy of spectroscopy.
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| Since last we met -
Thursday - Dinner date with K; I cooked a bitchin' quiche, hooked it up with a green salad and Chardonnay (goes good w/ cheese? I think?) Nice to talk, watched Sex in the City. Getting to know really slowly, I guess, which is good. I could make an analogy to crystal growth or something but instead I won't.
Friday - Don't really remember what occurred on this day. Probably nothing really crazy? I feel kinda lame now for this.
Saturday - running, over to spend some time with E planning our class at J's trailer, then to Stoneface for a beer (I only had one). Hung w/ P for a while (he can cook really well), then met K over at Flying star. I got coffee and and we talked really fast for a while, then I left to get beer at Marble. B got sick - panic attack? I chilled with him a while at home. I'm really sympathetic to brain insanity because I am prone to suffer from it when I get too stressed out.
A huge part of the last few years has been accepting that I have a delicate brain and learning to work around this limitation. It feels so natural to err on the side of limitpushing, but there is always a price to be paid.
Sunday - Trip to the gym, went to work for a while, then dinner at S's house. Lots of white-people based fun; hung out, ended up seeing "The Traitor" at the dollar theatre - awful movie.
Monday - Slept really late, missed Ethics, hit the gym, work, etc, etc. After-work trip with P and K to Marble. Got hit on in a really cheesy way by a cute girl, felt really attractive. I'm kinda at my natural saturation point for female attention at the moment but social dating is cool.
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| Yesterday: back and bicep workout, group meeting, 1.5 hour meeting with advisors J & J. After the group meeting, went with P, E, and C to the Copper Lounge (campus faux dive bar) for beers. I think it's become traditional to go out for beers afterwards - celebratory if good, consolatory if bad.
So much to do in the coming weeks and months (and years?). Feeling good about things, though.
To do to-day: Design some experiments, get quotes on a multichannel analyzer board, cook dinner for K. Feels good to be doing what I want to be doing.
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| Updating this thing again because journaling really helps my mental health.
Friday: Gym, full day of work in the lab. Hung out with B for an hour at Joe's bar (Nob Hill's only student dive bar), then picked up P to go to Marble for a while. Lifetalk, lots of discussion nowadays. Returned home, passed out.
Saturday: Running in the morning, hanging in the afternoon. Went with B to that guy's house who crashed my birthday party - party boringly tense, did not perceive them as friendly. Could just've been my state of mind though? Peaced out to C's house for a Guy Fawkes day party. Chatted with KE, who works in the same building but who I've never met before. Made a date to go riding the next day, didn't have any idea where. Left at ~9:30, just in time to meet KO at the Nob Hill B&G. 1.5 beers later we had talked for about 2.5 hours - very cool girl, cute, smart, etc. I'm pretty ambivalent about the med school thing - can they make time? If she can great, if not I won't take it personally. Home at ~1, slammed some food, passed out.
Sunday: Up at 9, thinking about where to go. Picked K up at the hotel, rode to Tijeras to get coffee, then up to the peak.
Passed the masses of bikes in front of Coffee at Dawn - a weekly event but with some kind of Ducati tent outside. Fell in line with ten or twelve Ducati's for a mile or two, then gracefully bowed out once they were all in staggered formation. I can really see the appeal of being in a motorcycle club... will keep it in mind for the near future. Roads were clean of gravel and snow, made for good riding - even the weather held out up to the peak.
Cruised around, sightsaw, got a decent chicken sandwich. Attempted to go back but got a call from B (who was cruising with F, his ex) for some tea in the forest. Met with them, left the bike at the Tijeras community center, and cruised. Ended up hiking in and brewing tea, wandering around on top of the Sandias. Back to the car, back to the bike, dropped K off, back home. Wish I had been friendly earlier, very cool person/people/etc.
Feeling pretty beat-up and worn down, looking forward to sleeping many hours tonight. Keep debating a trip to Smiths to pick up some snacks, but maybe I'll just drink some more milk.
Coffee at dawn, not my photograph:
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